There is nothing more paralyzing than perfectionism, and I struggle with it, HARD. I say I’m recovering because as much as I’ve let it go, there are still so many suffocating moments of not feeling ready, equipped, or like something is “missing” when I know I should just be taking a step instead.
I struggled with this my entire life. On top of that, my parents worried CONSTANTLY about me. They always said I was “too sweet and too trusting.” They wanted me to be more careful of my surroundings and my heart (no wonder I spent a good portion of my life training under world class martial arts champions). Now, compound both those with being a giant people pleaser. One that spent so much time trying to keep peace with others that I created an internal war.
Basically, this amounted to professional time wasting. It would knock the wind right out of my sails and dreams.
I’m not sure exactly where the turning point was for me. I literally can think of ten memories etched in my mind that were soul jarring and awakening. But it’s not like it changed over night. It’s just one jolt after the other, cross pollinating, to mold me into who and where I am today.
Do I still struggle? Hell yes. But the awareness has been so freeing. And holy crap it feels so good to be able to feel strong enough in that clarity and ability to act where I used to shrink down.
This is what I love to teach. It’s what I can see in others like Xray vision. Because it was me. It is me. And I will do anything to help others be freed from that so they can experience the life they strive for and deserve.
There is nothing more rewarding than to stand in front of another human being with similar struggles who feel like they are pacifying their own demons and say to them, “you are a child of the Most High. Do you know what that means? Do you realize how powerful you are? Do you know that you’re already seated in victory? Rise up, baby and know that you are.”
No matter what the world has told you, there is a certainty that resides in you that’s greater than any title anyone could ever hand you. And just as God sent His son in the flesh to say “I am,” I want you to know that you ARE too. Whatever that is for you, it’s there, hidden beneath an abyss of conformity. Peel it back, breathe in deep and assume the position you were handed by the King. It’s more powerful than you know.