Let me first preface this by saying, when I’m in the bathroom it has to be fast (meaning I ain’t got no time for quiet let alone selfies) because well…kids. But this morning I woke up early and the entire house is quiet. I walked into the bathroom and felt the need to take a peek at the tummy since I did a cleanse day yesterday. And voila, the abs made a slight appearance.
But here’s where the self sabotage and the evolution of thoughts and these various pics come in (left to right from top left):
• “Oh, there they are! Maybe it’s just my eyes tricking me. How would they look in a pic?” *snaps photo*
• “Meh, pretty good. But you’re standing pretty straight, just relax and let go of the posture.” *lets it all hang out, snaps selfie*
• “OMG! Yeah see, you’re a mess. Delete that one…buuuuut that IS relatable and real and other women and moms need to know that it’s all angles, lighting and posture.” *try again*
• “How did I used to hold my abs for shoots and shows? Like this?” *snaps selfie*
• “WTH is wrong with my stomach?! What happens to my top two abs when I do that? And my belly button! How weird is that?! It looks like it has a hood! Thanks a lot Mother Pregnancy. Does it look like that in every photo??” * snaps selfie*
• “Get your hand out of your pocket. Who takes selfies with their hand in their pocket? Sh*t, I never take selfies, what ARE YOU supposed to do with your other hand?” *snaps selfie*
Here’s the thing, I am super self conscious about how my body has changed over the years as I get older and after two little (nearly 10 lbs. at birth) girls.
There are times when I feel like this is the best it’s going to get. And there are times when I know I’m putting in 50% of my effort because “I’m too busy,” “I could be doing income producing activities/playing with my kids/spending time with my husband/relaxing.” “I just don’t have it in me like I used to.” “I like wine too much.”
Regardless of the thoughts, time constraints, life events etc., there is ALWAYS MORE DIG.
For me it just will never be as high stakes as it used to be. I train for life now, not for covers and shows. Does that mean I’ll never shoot again? No. But I do things differently now. I prioritize. I COUNTERBALANCE (balance is BS). I go all in with one thing at a time. I mess up most of the time and try again in work, marriage, motherhood, and personal accountability.
So no matter where you are in your journey, I feel you big time. Whether you’re flying high or feel like you’re suffocating – I’ve been there, trust me. And no matter how great people seem to have it on social media, it’s mostly the highlight reel so you have to stop comparing yourself. Because right now as I write this, hunched over my phone, my belly is hanging over my shorts and believe me, I notice.
There is always more dig and I want to help you find it.
You can sedate or you can solve. It’s a choice.
Now I’m going to pour more love and soul into my Summer Soulstice Challenge, so I, along with other vulnerable and powerful women, can take it to the next level.
P.S. And totally random, can someone please recommend some hand towels that don’t look like rags that I can hang in my guest bathroom?